


Never enough

by sadplant



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 13:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19946899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadplant/pseuds/sadplant
Summary: "I feel... wide awake," she said. And when I go to sleep, I dream of her. -- VillanEve. Eve's POV.





	Never enough

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something for my girlfriend.  
> Lub u so much, henny. <3

"How else do you feel right now?" asked Martin.

How. How did she feel?

Villanelle lay down by Eve's side. Eve could feel her warmth even though they weren't touching. The way she opened her mouth and got closer. _I've never done this before_ , Eve heard herself say. Villanelle smiled. Eve desperately wanted to be afraid, but she was just too excited. (She thought about teeth, flesh and blood. She wanted to see what was coming next.) The smell of French perfume and champagne, the metallic taste in her mouth. She bit her tongue too hard. (She needed to bite it harder.)

Villanelle had bought her expensive clothes and shoes. Eve had felt their fabrics and textures over and over. Memorized them even. When she wore them, she wondered if Villanelle could see her. She took them off with closed eyes. (Remembering warm hands, a knife pressed against her throat.) Wondering if Villanelle truly wanted to make her bleed.

Maybe she wanted Villanelle to look beneath her skin. (She thought about nails and fingers.)

(Villanelle gasped when Eve pushed the knife through her flesh. She could feel - they were wrong about her.

Eve knew better.)

It took weeks to take Villanelle's blood off her hands. She didn't feel bad about the stabbing. She felt bad because she enjoyed it. (And because she was so sloppy and if Villanelle wasn't alive anymore it was her fault and god she needed Villanelle to be alive because life was so boring without her and her teeth flesh blood hands nails fingers and her mind voice skin please be alive I need you alive) In her mind, she could see Villanelle mouthing her name. _Eve. Eve Polastri. Po-las-tri_. The last syllable always sounded spicy inside her mouth, Eve could see it swirling on her tongue. After Villanelle said it for the first time, it ceased to be his name. It started to sound like something really really important. (Eve would get up in the middle of the night and go downstairs and talk to herself she would say Eve Eve Polastri but she could never get it quite right because of her damn tears)

How did she feel?

She thought about Villanelle most of the time and it was never enough.

"I feel... wide awake," she said. _And when I go to sleep, I dream of her._

In Eve's dreams, Villanelle never said anything but her name. _Eve. Eve. Eve. Eve Polastri_. In Eve's dreams, her hair was always down. Villanelle would run her fingers through it like it was her own. In Eve's dreams, she crawled. (She wanted to crawl.) She wanted to be touched by those hands. (So so warm so warm she dreamt about them hands so warm and steady and she woke up to that man and his cold hands poor him he was not to blame but couldn't he be more like her he made it so hard for Eve to pretend to close her eyes and imagine but she did so anyway she did so anyway)

  



End file.
